Makiing friends at university

Title: The Unspoken Regret: Lessons from a Less Social University Experience

When you think of university, what comes to mind? Is it the endless stack of textbooks, the sleepless nights preparing for exams, or perhaps the endless possibilities of a career that awaits you? For many, the most memorable part of university is the friendships they make – those bonds that last a lifetime. However, not everyone has that experience. Reflecting on my own university journey, I realise that I didn’t make many friends and this regret hit me hardest at my graduation ceremony.

As I walked across the stage, diploma in hand, surrounded by a sea of cheering students, a wave of regret washed over me. I was graduating from one of the UK’s prestigious universities, a feat many would be proud of, but something felt amiss. I looked around and saw small clusters of students hugging, laughing, and taking group selfies, their faces glowing with happiness and camaraderie. That’s when it hit me. I had been so engrossed in my academics, my part-time job, and my own personal bubble that I had missed out on an essential part of university life: making friends.

Many might argue that university is for learning, not socialising. And while there’s truth to that, it’s also a place to grow personally and emotionally. It’s an environment where you can meet people from different walks of life, learn from their experiences, and create a network that could potentially help you in your future career. And it’s these missed opportunities that cast a shadow on my graduation day.

For me, university was a rigorous academic journey. I was a diligent student, always on top of my coursework and consistently performing well in exams. But in the midst of this intense focus on academia, I lost sight of the importance of balance. I missed out on late-night conversations over takeaway pizza, spontaneous trips, and the close-knit community feeling that comes with university friendships.

The realisation hit me hard at graduation. As I watched others celebrate with their friends, a pang of regret filled my heart. I wished for a do-over, a chance to rewind and start again, to make a conscious effort to balance my academic life with my social life.

However, dwelling on regret will not change the past. Instead, I’ve chosen to use this as a powerful lesson for the future, and it’s a lesson I want to share with other university students who might be in the same situation. Here are a few tips:

1. Be open and proactive: University life can be overwhelming, but take the initiative to engage with others. Join clubs and societies, engage in group studies, attend social events and don’t be afraid to strike up conversations.

2. Seek balance: While academics are important, so is your emotional wellbeing. Make time for social activities. It’s these shared experiences that often forge the strongest friendships.

3. Don’t be too critical of yourself: Not everyone is outgoing. If you’re introverted, that’s okay. Friendships aren’t about quantity but quality. Even a few close friends can make your university experience rewarding.

4. Stay connected: In this digital age, staying connected is easier than ever. Use social media platforms to keep in touch with classmates and participate in online forums and discussions.

Looking back, I wish I had understood the importance of making friends at university and the role those relationships play in shaping our overall university experience. However, life is all about learning, and this was a lesson I had to learn the hard way.

As I closed the chapter on my university life, I realised that while my academic achievements were a source of pride, the loneliness was a regret that lingered. But rather than allowing this regret to weigh me down, I used it as a stepping stone, a lesson for the future.

To all university students out there, remember that university is not just about the degree you earn, but also the memories you make and the friendships you forge. So, while you chase academic excellence, don’t forget to take a moment to live, laugh, and forge friendships. Because, trust me, you don’t want to look back on your graduation day with regret.